Women in Cars

For some reason I woke up this morning recalling how, when I was a child, it was always taken for granted that men would be the ones to ride shotgun in a car journey.

There’d be the driver, and then if there was an adult man and woman present, the man would have first dibs on the front passenger seat.

So, for example, if my father was driving, and the passengers were my mother and her brother, her brother would naturally get the front seat. If my uncle were driving, my father would get the front seat.

If my aunt were driving and the passengers were my mother and her brother, my mother would, I think, automatically sit at the back, unless maybe it was her youngest brother (she had five).

Back then, in my experience, women were always expected to take the literal back seat and it was done automatically. Discussing it with Malaysian friends, it seems it remains the case in some families. However, one friend (A) said that, in her community (Malaysian-Sri Lankan), people of the same gender are expected to sit together, unless they are married. So, if B and her dad are being driven by her aunt, B will ride shotgun and her dad will sit at the back. Another friend, B, a Malaysian-Chinese, agreed with me when I said I believed a Chinese man would rather die than sit in the back behind two women. It’s like Chinese men don’t even like the idea of being driven by a woman.

B also said that, if there are men present, her mother never thinks of her as the one who will drive. A man is always the default choice.

I wonder if this is an Asian-only thing.

Advertisements

Everything good will come

I was writing my impressions of Sefi Atta’s Everything Good Will Come when I realised that the way I felt about a decision made by her protagonist said a lot about the way I’ve been living my life.

If you intend to read the book and are bothered about spoilers, don’t continue reading this post.Read More »

Thanks but No Thanks

My Twitter account got a new follower today:

twitterfollower

Needless to say I won’t be following back.

 

Bastard Alert!

Two to four years ago, I tried out different online dating sites including OK Cupid, Match.com and Adult Friend Finder. I stupidly gave my number to a few people I met on the site, but apart from the Sociopath from the Cesspit of Hell (Fouad Alaa Abdelkarim) I never actually met up with anyone I connected with online.

Last night, I received a whatsapp message from one of the ‘creatures’, whom I have named ‘Dick’. The following screenshots show the conversation we had. This is a public service anouncement: Avoid this fucktard like the plague.Read More »

Ring, ring

ring ring

‘If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it.’
~ from Put a Ring on It by Beyonce Knowles

Someone said it’s a powerful feminist statement, but I feel it buys into the patriachal notion of ownership through marriage, and also discounts women who choose to want ‘it’ and don’t require men to ‘put rings on it’ first.

Perhaps the sentiments are in the right place: Don’t assume you can just have me without my permission. But, in my opinion, it stinks of sex having a price tag, and women using their bodies as bargaining tools. Or rewards. And I don’t like it one bit.