It’s been a while since I wrote about my so-called love life. Hah.
Recently, I met a bloke whom I really like. Unfortunately, he does not like me back. We get on well, enjoy each other’s company etc, but he seems (no, he definitely is) lukewarm about me. While I don’t mind being upfront about what I want, and I don’t mind making the first move, it began to feel like whatever we had between us only existed because I wanted it to. He probably doesn’t dislike my company, may even like it. However, I’m obviously not floating his boat enough for him to be more than a passive participant in our ‘relationship’.
The last time I saw him, we spent about five hours chatting. After that he texted to say he’d had a great time, but then he stopped contacting me as often as he had done before. I did ask him about it, and he said he was busy, clearing work before the Raya break. Then Raya happened. Still nothing. Then the World Cup started. Even more nothing.
Really, I should just accept the fact that I have been well and truly friend zoned. We still chat, if I initiate it, but yeah, only if I initiate it. It’s depressing. How could he not be absolutely over the moon that I fancy him? How could he not like me back?
Hah. Enough already. I am not going to think about it anymore. I have already wasted (too) many minutes being grumpy over him, and really, I should not have even written this post, right? Why all these words written about someone who does not deem me worthy of his time?
The thing is, there are so many annoying, sleazy, sexist bastards out there, that meeting this guy really was such a relief. Last week, I had four bad dates in a row and I was thinking that I needed to continue going out to meet guys until I met a decent one because if not I would be doomed forever. Crazy but true.
I am thinking though that I need to take a break from dating, from men. It’s been nothing but bad news so what am I doing continuing to put myself through all the shit? Seriously, I would be telling a girlfriend to stop it already if I saw her being me. No one needs this amount of yuck in their life. And, thinking about it, has the yuck been happening right from 2013? Was Don also part of it? And how about the final years of my marriage? Has my love life actually sucked since 2006?
I need a vacation.