Siaran Tergendala Sebentar

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I have been distracted by various things and not been updating this blog.

It is mostly good though. I am actually writing stories and finishing them. Is it too optimistic to aim to complete my collection at the end of July? Perhaps, but that’s my goal anyway. Even if I don’t meet it, it motivates me to keep on at it.

I will try to pop back here every now and then, if only to post music I’m listening to.

In the meantime, here’s a short list of stuff that has happened:

  1. Found out about Leonora Carrington and am now reading her short stories. Weird and wonderful!
  2. Bought The Wolf at the Door by J. Damask who is my friend Joyce Chng. I am enjoying it so much.
  3. I am reviewing Lang Leav’s Sad Girls. I hope it doesn’t have the same effect on me as her poems do.
  4. Will be reviewing Felicia Yap’s book. She is that Malaysian author who was signed by Random House (I think) and paid a mind-bogglingly huge advance.
  5. I joined Tinder, specifying that I wasn’t interested in hooking up or looking for a romantic relationship. Met a couple of interesting people (of both sexes), but also two complete fuckwits. I have deleted my account.
  6. Met a farrier from Sweden whom I call the Neighsayer. He is black and has a weird accent that’s a mix of English, Australian and others that I can’t identify – from learning English while travelling. A nice, unsleazy guy whom I can hang out with and not have to beat off with my umbrella.
  7. Don and I are still together and he is still the love of my life.

That’s all I can think of. Until next time …

Five Burned With Tyres

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Killed It With Kisses

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Goodbye and Good Riddance

A well-known Malaysian has died and my social media feed is full of people declaring what a loss the country has suffered. I am filled with anger because I know that this man was an egoistical, arrogant, physically abusive misogynistic.

I once had the misfortune of editing a short story by him and he responded to my edits with indignation and outrage, demanding how I (a nobody, in his eyes) dared tell him (HIM!) how to improve his story. However, that was nothing compared to the violence he inflicted on the women in his life.

His actions aren’t a total secret, but even those who are aware of it have mostly either chosen to ignore what he did, or seem not to think it appropriate to talk about, now that he’s dead. Well, it wasn’t discussed even when he was alive.

I don’t know if his victims ever reported him; if they were counselled; if they sought to make him accountable in whatever way they saw fit; or if they had any closure. As someone who has been abused, I know it’s a difficult and complicated place to be in, and how we respond isn’t something that is always easily understood, even by ourselves.

I have always been disgusted by the way this man has been treated like a hero by the public. I acknowledge that some of his work is good, but I am unable to truly separate it from his abusive behaviour.

Everything Means Nothing

I would like an engagement ring, but because I like jewellery and not for what it’s supposed to stand for. I’d like a beautiful wedding dress because I like clothes, and I want a big wedding because I like parties with lots of food, people and dancing. Parties and new clothes are not good reasons to marry. Don is a good reason to marry. Everything means nothing without him.

If I Ain’t Got You

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power, yeah
Some people live just to play the game

Some people think that the physical things define what’s within
And I’ve been there before, and that life’s a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don’t want nothing at all
If it ain’t you baby
If I ain’t got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain’t got you, yeah

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that’s the only way to prove you love them

Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don’t want nothing at all
If it ain’t you baby
If I ain’t got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain’t got you

Some people want it all
But I don’t want nothing at all
If it ain’t you baby
If I ain’t got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain’t got you, yeah

If I ain’t got you with me baby
So nothing in this whole wide world don’t mean a thing
If I ain’t got you with me baby

Songwriter
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