I can feel the distance getting close

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So last night I watched the final episode of HBO’s Insecure,  more than a month after it aired. It took me that long because I was avoiding how sad I knew it would make me. Funny that I chose to watch it just as I was sinking into my latest bout of depression . Hmm …

I guess I just wanted some distraction, and I’d already read so many episode recaps that I was ready for what was coming.

And, actually, it turned out OK. Sure, I cried, but I didn’t take it personally, the way I did Season 1’s final scene, blearghh.

What will happen in Season 3? Will Issa, Lawrence and Molly continue being the complete idiots they’ve always been? To be honest, their messy lives are why I love the series so much. Another nine months to go, but the most alarming thing is just how quickly they will pass.

(P.S. I hope I never see Aparna again. Nope. Do. Not. Like. The. Woman.)

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and I still love you

You Can Close Your Eyes

Well the sun is surely sinking down, but the moon is slowly rising.
So this old world must still be spinning round and I still love you.

So close your eyes, you can close your eyes, it’s all right.
I don’t know no love songs and I can’t sing the blues anymore.
But I can sing this song and you can sing this song when I’m gone.

It won’t be long before another day, we gonna have a good time.
And no one’s gonna take that time away. You can stay as long as you like.

So close your eyes, you can close your eyes, it’s all right.
I don’t know no love songs and I can’t sing the blues anymore.
But I can sing this song and you can sing this song when I’m gone.

Music & Lyrics by James Taylor

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

respect
Back [l to r]: Kelli; Derek; Tiffany; Issa’s brother; Issa; Sweetie (Kelli’s date); Smug-as-Shit Aparna; random friend of Derek. Front [r to l]: Random friend’s partner; Dro the Cheating Scoundrel; Candice, the Cheater’s wife; Molly; Lawrence. — This photo is property of HBO
What kind of disrespectful arsehole takes his current girlfriend to the birthday party of a friend he got to know through his ex, knowing his ex will be there? A fuckboy, that’s what kind of arsehole. And a fuckboy who thinks he’s a nice guy. Tasha was sooooo right.

So, I watched the penultimate episode (‘Hella Disrespectful’) of the second season of Insecure early this morning and, after also watching the finale teaser, I have no idea what to expect next.

It seems like Issa and Lawrence aren’t thinking straight and I admit that I’m half hoping that the reason for this is that they still love one another and need to sort things out and get back together. I’m torn about this.

I started the season really wanting them to be a couple again, but as the episodes went by, I started disliking Lawrence and thinking he’s not right for Issa. I also started liking Daniel more and more. And I still think Issa is being silly about what happened between them in Episode 6.

‘He embarrassed me,’ she whines to Molly, who also over-reacts, although perhaps not, as we don’t get to hear exactly what Issa has told her.

I’d actually like to know how Issa (mis)read the incident. When Daniel says, ‘So now we’re even’ she over-reacts once again. I think he meant, ‘So now we’ve both done things we shouldn’t be proud of’, but she reads it as ‘What I did was payback.’ Has she forgotten that she callously told him that he was an itch she needed to scratch? Why isn’t Episode 7 called ‘Hella Self-righteous’?

One explanation for Issa misunderstanding Daniel; and for Lawrence’s bad decision to take Aparna to Derek’s birthday party; for the nasty things they say to one another; and, finally, for Issa thrashing her flat, is that they have both reached breaking point. Whether or not this means they are still in love and will decide to reunite is anyone’s guess.

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This photo is the property of HBO

It could be that they just needed to get those nasty words out; that Lawrence (consciously or otherwise) needed to hurt Issa as much as he’d been hurt by her; that Issa needs some time to rest and recover, without the distractions of a hoetation; Lawrence ditto.

The teaser indicates that Lawrence will visit Issa. Maybe it’s to make up. Maybe it’s just to be human, apologise, admit the part he played in the breakdown and breakup of their relationship, and then move on … hopefully without Aparna. I don’t like the girl. She seems smug to me. (Also, why would she go to that party knowing Lawrence’s ex would be there. That girl is either stupid, or she’s looking for trouble.)

Molly … I hope she sticks to her decision to stop seeing Dro. No way is he in an open marriage, that lying ass sonofabitch.

I can’t wait for Sunday and the finale, but of course I’m also dreading life without Insecure.

 

Well I’ll Be Blowed

I had no idea that blow jobs were an issue for black women. Well, according to Issa Rae, creator and star of Insecure (HBO), they are, but I’ve read all sorts of opinions on the matter. Some African American women seem to disagree with Rae.

To be honest, I have no idea how blow jobs are viewed by Malaysian women in general. I have just assumed (and yes, I know that’s not a smart thing to do) that it’s something that women in long-term relationships do. I’ve also always thought that some Malaysian women have no problems giving casual sex partners BJs. I myself am not fussed. If I’m OK with a man’s dick being inside my vagina, I’m OK with it being inside my mouth, and the latter situation is sometimes preferable because, to me, it’s just like a quickie that’s less messy.

It’s interesting that some women feel that a BJ is more intimate than vaginal intercourse. I don’t differentiate the two, but I do feel that kissing is what I would do with someone I love, and I am not terribly keen on exchanging spit with strangers.

In the latest episode of Insecure (Episode 6, ‘Hella Blows’), Issa reveals she doesn’t usually give BJs (because men see women who do it as hoes), but after hearing Tiffany going on about how powerful it is to have that sort of power over a man and how it gives women the upperhand, Issa decides to favour Daniel with some head. Hmm … I wonder … did Issa never go down on Lawrence? They were together for five years though. I don’t know … I’m more like Molly — it’s a reciprocal thing, so if you go down on me, I’ll return the favour.

I’ve been reading various episode recaps and watched a couple of post mortems on YouTube (including ‘Wine Down’, which is hosted by Issa Rae herself, and linked in the first para of this post) and I don’t understand what the fuss is about.

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Issa gets an eyeful.
So, Daniel comes on Issa’s face (and in her eye) and she is livid! For many, the fact that he said ‘Oh I thought you were down for anything’ (or words to that effect) is proof that he disrespected her — because he didn’t bother asking first. There’s also talk about how he held her head down. Now, I am not a fan of head holding and I always say so before anything happens, but I didn’t think Daniel was being presumptuous or aggressive or disrespectful. My reading of the scene was that he got carried away (as one is when in that situation), but he wouldn’t have forced Issa to do anything. He did give her fair verbal warning and if she had stopped what she was doing and moved away, he would have probably finished the job himself. He has never seemed unreasonable and, in fact, has always been kind and good to Issa so I think he was not being a bastard in this scene.

The fact that Issa didn’t know how to handle the situation made me think that Lawrence really hadn’t been getting any head in their five years together. Also, didn’t she just attend a BJ workshop? Didn’t it include any tips about how to avoid (or not) facials?

I definitely think Issa overeacted and I am in Daniel’s camp in this instance.

 

 

 

All Shook Up

Insecure Season 2 is really pushing all my buttons, in all kinds of ways. This post is me unpacking what’s happened in the series, trying to make sense of how all the characters are behaving. I’m taking this series very seriously because my heart hurts when I watch it. But in a good way.

If you haven’t watched the series or the current season (2), there are lots of spoilers after this para.Read More »