Spilling the Beans

Like the blogger behind the blog Words from Sonobe, I am hoping to blog more regularly this year. I am also making the effort to visit the blogs I follow more than just once in a blue moon. Honestly, it’s to do with absent mindedness and just bad planning that I don’t visit more.

Anyway, instead of another random post (which happened a lot during the AtoZChallenge), I’ve nicked this quiz from Words from Sonobe! It looks fun.

Think about your SENIOR year in High School. The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be!

(I’ll take this to mean the year I did A-levels. I went to Convent primary and secondary schools in Malaysia and then to junior college in Singapore. This is called pre-u, which is kind of a ‘positive’ or presumptuous way of naming the level of study, depending on how you look at it. Anyway, here goes …

  1. Did you know your current significant other? I do not have a significant other.
  2. Make and year of car? No car although, by then, I’d my license for about three years.
  3. What kind of job? Also none, although during the school hols, I’d go home to Batu Pahat, Johor and work at the mall. I did this from when I was sixteen and it was mainly in the supermarket or the Ladies clothes and shoes departments.
  4. Where did you live? In Jurong West in Singapore and in Batu Pahat, Johor, where my parents were.
  5. Were you popular? With some people, haha.
  6. Were you in choir? Yes and so, I’ve performed at some ‘interesting’ events and venues, like the Istana (in Singapore); the National Day parade; and Victoria Theatre.
  7. Ever get suspended from school? No.
  8. If you could, would you go back? Only if I go back knowing what I know now.
  9. Still talk to the person that you went to prom with? I went with one of my best friends who was at another junior college. She is from Batu Pahat and I’ve known her for forty-one years and yes, we are still close.
  10. Did you skip school? Always, always, always. Classes too.
  11. Go to all the football games? Not football, but I did attend a fair number of basketball games and canoeing competitions. Don’t ask.
  12. Favourite subject? English Lit.
  13. Do you still have your yearbooks? No, and I skipped school the day the pictures were taken. On purpose.
  14. Did you follow the career path you planned? Hmm … I can’t remember what career path I planned then, but as I went to law school then switched to nursing and have been a dialysis nurse, in public relations at a resort in Langkawi, in the press, done non-profit stuff and am now an editor, I guess I’ve not followed a conventional path anyway.
  15. Did you have a class ring? Not something we have in Malaysia or Singapore.
  16. Still close with your best friend? Yes! We just spent my birthday in Melaka together. She is Singaporean and we met at junior college.
  17. Who was your favourite teacher? Mr Donald Whitby who taught Literary Criticism.
  18. What was your style? We were known as the dull and grey JC because our uniforms were … dull and grey. I liked wearing a uniform because this was back when there were no clothes that fit fat teenagers. My personal style: Anything I could find that fit!
  19. Favourite shoes? I saved up and bought a pair of Nikes. The cheapest I could find. I was a foolish child.
  20. Favourite music? David Bowie. Of course.
  21. Junior College hair? Ugh, pony tail tied with satin ribbons. But I cut it short halfway through the year.
  22. What kind of cologne/ perfume? I saved up and got a bottle of Armani, which I think has been discontinued. What a delicious fragrance.
  23. How old when graduated? 19.
  24. Did you play a sport? No way.

Catching Up

My last three posts have all been Caturday ones, which means I have not blogged properly for about two weeks. I shall try to do better.

I was in Singapore from 6th to 10th September for the Asian Festival of Children’s Content. And in George Town (Penang) from 8th to 12th October, for some badly needed ‘me’ time.

Don’t ask me what I was doing between getting back from Singapore and leaving for GT. I don’t know where the time goes these days. I do know that it takes forever for me to get back on track if my routine gets disrupted.

So, updates …Read More »

Wanker Alert

WhatsApp Image 2018-08-13 at 12.14.42

The message above was from ‘Raincity Dreamer’, the latest wanker I matched with on the dating app OK Cupid. It annoyed me, but didn’t hurt me, which I think it was supposed to.

Here’s the entire conversation:

 

Ash isn’t the first rude person I’ve encountered online. So many men react with mean, hurtful, misogynistic words the moment it’s clear that you’re not the sort of woman they’d hoped you’d be. I don’t know why there’s a need to be unkind, but apparently it’s caused by insecurity: It seems that putting a woman down and upsetting her makes them feel good (better?) about themselves. I find this bizarre, but I guess they really aren’t worth the time and effort it’ll take me to figure out their behaviour.

If you’re browsing OKC in the Klang Valley, this is one guy you should definitely swipe left on.

 

To Have or Have Not

I did not know that Spike Lee had re-fashioned his film She’s Gotta Have It (1986) into a Netflix series!

nola 87
Tracy Camilla Johns as Nola Darling (1986)

Hmm, I had almost forgotten the film, which I watched a few years after it was released. I know I didn’t get it then. I didn’t get any of Spike Lee’s films. Back then there wasn’t much I got if it wasn’t in the great British/American tradition.

However, I remember I was impressed by Nola Darling (’86). I liked her attitude towards life and love, and men. I didn’t understand it, but I liked it and I admired her. I was jealous of her ability to love three men (and a woman) just enough without giving herself to them.

I’ve always known, but never acknowledged that I’m not a one-man woman. However, I’ve been a one-man woman in my relationships because I am not a jerk. I don’t want to hurt people. Also, I know I’m not evolved enough to be happy about my man having sex with other women and have no wish to be a hypocrite.

Sure, I have double standards, and I’ve been trying to figure out why (apart from the fact that I can be a bit of a dick) I do.

I think I am not secure enough to believe a man could sleep with others and still always prefer me. I know there are different things I appreciate in different men. I like them each in different ways because they’re different people. That’s the way I feel about my girlfriends and that’s how they feel about me. Why should it be different when it’s a man? Hmm … see? I hate how romantic relationships turn me into a green-eyed demon.

I admit it — I am possessive as fuck — not to the extent that I won’t let my partners have friends of the opposite sex (although look at how that ended with Martin and Ee Kee — he left her for me), but I don’t like them polyamorous despite being polyamorous myself.

I think polyamory is complicated and hard work and I don’t think I can handle such a lifestyle. I don’t think I can do the ‘committed to each other, but sleeping around’ kind of relationship. I don’t want to battle with my own jealousy and my partner’s. I don’t want to feel hurt and to hurt others.

Nola 2017
DeWanda Wise as Nola Darling (2017)

I figure the only option is to remain single. Like Nola Darling. Ish. Thing is, I don’t know if the current Nola Darling really knows what she’s about. Of course, I would need to re-watch the original to know what I think of Nola (’87) now, but Nola (2017/2018) … she’s too much of a child for me to take seriously. And her refusal to commit seems more about selfishness and self-conscious artistic posturing than a well-considered lifestyle choice. She’s twenty-seven after all. Haha, spoken like an old woman, right? Damn right!

Say Sorry, Trevor!

I’ve just watched the clip in which Trevor Noah makes a joke at the expense of Australian aboriginal women. I think it’s shameful, but I know there are lots of Malaysians who would laugh uproariously at it. At best they would agree that the joke is rude and hurtful, but they would probably also think, ‘But it’s true: Aboriginal women are ugly.’

I know that the majority of Malaysians do not rate an Australian aboriginal’s physical appearance. Hell, we don’t rate the appearance of fellow Malaysians who don’t meet the accepted ‘standards’ of physical beauty, i.e. large eyes with double eyelids; a narrow nose with a bridge; fair skin. And yes, I’ve just described someone who might well be white. That’s because most Malaysians happen to think white people look more attractive than Asians. It’s no surprise that many of our fashion models, beauty queens and actors (of both genders) are half-white. When a Malaysian woman marries a white man, her friends will squeal about how their children will be super cute thanks to their white genes. No, I’m not joking.

It seems Trevor Noah has yet to apologise for his tasteless joke. He’s said he knows better now, but for some reason he’s not said something like ‘I’m sorry that I made a joke that hurt aboriginal women. It was wrong of me to say what I did just for a laugh.’ I have heard him make jokes about Chinese people and they have lowered him in my estimation. Sure, we all say stupid things, but surely someone like Trevor Noah should address these lapses in judgement and opinion.

As for the way most of us Malaysians think about beauty, don’t get me started. I don’t know if we will ever get over the stupid idea that Asian looks are inferior to white looks. I can’t see it happening in my lifetime, to be honest.