R-E-S-P-E-C-T

respect
Back [l to r]: Kelli; Derek; Tiffany; Issa’s brother; Issa; Sweetie (Kelli’s date); Smug-as-Shit Aparna; random friend of Derek. Front [r to l]: Random friend’s partner; Dro the Cheating Scoundrel; Candice, the Cheater’s wife; Molly; Lawrence. — This photo is property of HBO
What kind of disrespectful arsehole takes his current girlfriend to the birthday party of a friend he got to know through his ex, knowing his ex will be there? A fuckboy, that’s what kind of arsehole. And a fuckboy who thinks he’s a nice guy. Tasha was sooooo right.

So, I watched the penultimate episode (‘Hella Disrespectful’) of the second season of Insecure early this morning and, after also watching the finale teaser, I have no idea what to expect next.

It seems like Issa and Lawrence aren’t thinking straight and I admit that I’m half hoping that the reason for this is that they still love one another and need to sort things out and get back together. I’m torn about this.

I started the season really wanting them to be a couple again, but as the episodes went by, I started disliking Lawrence and thinking he’s not right for Issa. I also started liking Daniel more and more. And I still think Issa is being silly about what happened between them in Episode 6.

‘He embarrassed me,’ she whines to Molly, who also over-reacts, although perhaps not, as we don’t get to hear exactly what Issa has told her.

I’d actually like to know how Issa (mis)read the incident. When Daniel says, ‘So now we’re even’ she over-reacts once again. I think he meant, ‘So now we’ve both done things we shouldn’t be proud of’, but she reads it as ‘What I did was payback.’ Has she forgotten that she callously told him that he was an itch she needed to scratch? Why isn’t Episode 7 called ‘Hella Self-righteous’?

One explanation for Issa misunderstanding Daniel; and for Lawrence’s bad decision to take Aparna to Derek’s birthday party; for the nasty things they say to one another; and, finally, for Issa thrashing her flat, is that they have both reached breaking point. Whether or not this means they are still in love and will decide to reunite is anyone’s guess.

mud
This photo is the property of HBO

It could be that they just needed to get those nasty words out; that Lawrence (consciously or otherwise) needed to hurt Issa as much as he’d been hurt by her; that Issa needs some time to rest and recover, without the distractions of a hoetation; Lawrence ditto.

The teaser indicates that Lawrence will visit Issa. Maybe it’s to make up. Maybe it’s just to be human, apologise, admit the part he played in the breakdown and breakup of their relationship, and then move on … hopefully without Aparna. I don’t like the girl. She seems smug to me. (Also, why would she go to that party knowing Lawrence’s ex would be there. That girl is either stupid, or she’s looking for trouble.)

Molly … I hope she sticks to her decision to stop seeing Dro. No way is he in an open marriage, that lying ass sonofabitch.

I can’t wait for Sunday and the finale, but of course I’m also dreading life without Insecure.

 

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All Shook Up

Insecure Season 2 is really pushing all my buttons, in all kinds of ways. This post is me unpacking what’s happened in the series, trying to make sense of how all the characters are behaving. I’m taking this series very seriously because my heart hurts when I watch it. But in a good way.

If you haven’t watched the series or the current season (2), there are lots of spoilers after this para.Read More »

Having It All or Doing It All?

Today I was introduced to a blogger (Emma) who draws her thoughts about social issues. The blog post that I read is called You Should Have Asked and explains why women tend to end up doing everything at home.

(Hmm, even as I typed the last sentence I found myself wondering, guiltily, if it’s actually all my fault that I don’t get any help at home. That is another story though.)

Right now my ex-husband has moved back into my flat, with me and our children (a long story that I won’t go into right now) and does next to nothing to help with the chores. I badly want to tell him to get out, but I admit I’m afraid that things might get ugly if I do. Still, I know I am going to have to tell him that sharing a space just isn’t going to work.

Anyway, I read Emma’s comic and almost every frame made me want to cry because it was such a relief to know that it wasn’t all just me being a total failure at managing and being assertive and all the rest.

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From ‘You Should’ve Asked’.

Why do I even need to ask?Read More »

Heart Strings Like a Symphony

It was only when I found out that ex-husband was in love with someone else that I realised that it had been years since I’d felt anything but platonic affection for him. I guess I was too caught up with the kids, and my job, and also my depression.

I was devastated when my marriage ended, but not because I felt I was losing the great love of my life. It was because of the way things unravelled. Things got ugly and everyone behaved badly. So badly.

Who would have predicted it? Things happen. People change. Love (whether we’re falling into or out of it) makes fools and monsters out of most of us.

If only someone would warn us, but then, if they did, would we believe them?

Read More »

The Other Woman

When my ex husband left me for another woman, he was quick to inform me that she was ten years younger (and infinitely more supple) than I was.

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Ten years later, they have finally gone their separate ways. She is still ten years younger than me, but she is now forty and I wonder if she regrets the decisions she made in getting involved with a married man who made no move to divorce his wife (I was the one who pushed for divorce and he resisted to the bitter end), and who, it appears, never intended to marry her.

In the early days of their relationship, they did talk about marriage and children. It’s of course entirely possible that she changed her mind. In my opinion, she would have seen his true colours and thought better of getting legally joined to a verbally (at times physically) abusive and emotionally manipulative man. If she has no intention of getting married (to him or anyone) then that’s fine. I just hope that if she has arrived at that conclusion, it’s not because he treated her badly.

There was a time when I hated her deeply. I no longer have any strong feelings towards her. Too many years have passed and too much has happened for me to remain angry and resentful.