With the Top Down and the Wind Blowing

Further thoughts on Crowded House’s Not the Girl You Think You Are

It’s my favourite song by the band despite having previously felt it was a rather depressing one about losing oneself and being the person you think you have to be in order to be loved and wanted.

Well, I was listening to it this morning and I had an epiphany: This song is about the false negative perceptions one has about oneself. It’s about feeling you will never be liked for who you are; it’s about the years of disappointment breaking you down so that you don’t think you deserve happiness.

That’s not who you are. That’s not who I am. I deserve to be happy and loved. I am loved; I have lots to be happy about. And I do believe that Don is one in a million.




I recently came to know of this bird, called the shoe-billed stork and I can’t get over how it looks. Can it be possible that something like this actually exists outside a fantasy novel? It looks like something created by Lewis Carroll; like it should be strolling through a verse of The Walrus and the Carpenter.

At its largest, the shoe-bill is close to five feet tall. The Wiki page says it … ‘is noted for its slow movements and tendency to remain still for long periods, resulting in repeated descriptions of the species as “statue-like”.’

However, it looks like it might enjoy a good joke.

And when feeling energetic, it might be persuaded to join me in a gentle saunter around Taman Tun park.


P.S. Also from wiki: ‘This species is considered to be one of the five most desirable birds in Africa by ornithologists.’ I have no idea what that means. Desirable as pets? Food? What?

P.P.S. I found this video of shoebill clips set to Noh music. Perfect!

P.P.S. And finally, as large as these birds are, they fly. Check out that windspan!


Having It All or Doing It All?

Today I was introduced to a blogger (Emma) who draws her thoughts about social issues. The blog post that I read is called You Should Have Asked and explains why women tend to end up doing everything at home.

(Hmm, even as I typed the last sentence I found myself wondering, guiltily, if it’s actually all my fault that I don’t get any help at home. That is another story though.)

Right now my ex-husband has moved back into my flat, with me and our children (a long story that I won’t go into right now) and does next to nothing to help with the chores. I badly want to tell him to get out, but I admit I’m afraid that things might get ugly if I do. Still, I know I am going to have to tell him that sharing a space just isn’t going to work.

Anyway, I read Emma’s comic and almost every frame made me want to cry because it was such a relief to know that it wasn’t all just me being a total failure at managing and being assertive and all the rest.

From ‘You Should’ve Asked’.

Why do I even need to ask?Read More »

Not Chinese

Most people of Chinese ethnicity react negatively when they find out that …

I don’t speak Chinese;

I don’t want to speak Chinese (and dislike the way Mandarin sounds);

I don’t identify as Chinese.Read More »

The Bathroom Mirror Makes You Look Tall

Who’s That Girl?

Relationships make fools of some all of us.

Turn us into liars and cheats.

Who would recognise the person you become

when you’re in his arms

or laughing at his jokes

or talking about feminism and racism

and all the things you never knew you believed in?

Who would want to know her?

Even your cat is embarrassed.

Read More »