Try Harder, Little Boys

It’s easy to separate the men from the boys. 

The boys will get offended when you don’t give them your number. 

They will immediately try to offend you by mentioning your age. 

‘Why you so stuck up, old woman? You fifty years old. You should be ashamed of yourself.’

As if being old was a bad thing. Little boy, I’m fifty and that’s precisely why I won’t have anything to do with children like you. 

‘Yeah I’m old enough to be your Mama. Maybe you should just stick to fucking her.’

Free Advice

I’m just gonna jump straight in (and I may or may not add to this list from time to time):

  • Do NOT ask me how I am/how I’m doing/if I’m OK unless you are truly interested in my answer. If you are hoping/expecting that I will respond with the standard ‘I’m fine/OK’, you may be in for a surprise. There are days when I will just say I’m alright regardless of how I really feel, but most of the time I will tell you how things actually are, and if you don’t want to know then it’s best not to start the ball rolling.
  • If I say I’m worried or stressed or unhappy, do NOT respond by telling me to ‘Relax’.
  • ‘If I say I am struggling to pay my bills, do NOT reply, ‘Almost everyone has money problems’ and ‘There are a lot more people who are worse off than you’.
  • Do NOT call me Daph if you have only just met me.



Siaran Tergendala Sebentar


I have been distracted by various things and not been updating this blog.

It is mostly good though. I am actually writing stories and finishing them. Is it too optimistic to aim to complete my collection at the end of July? Perhaps, but that’s my goal anyway. Even if I don’t meet it, it motivates me to keep on at it.

I will try to pop back here every now and then, if only to post music I’m listening to.

In the meantime, here’s a short list of stuff that has happened:

  1. Found out about Leonora Carrington and am now reading her short stories. Weird and wonderful!
  2. Bought The Wolf at the Door by J. Damask who is my friend Joyce Chng. I am enjoying it so much.
  3. I am reviewing Lang Leav’s Sad Girls. I hope it doesn’t have the same effect on me as her poems do.
  4. Will be reviewing Felicia Yap’s book. She is that Malaysian author who was signed by Random House (I think) and paid a mind-bogglingly huge advance.
  5. I joined Tinder, specifying that I wasn’t interested in hooking up or looking for a romantic relationship. Met a couple of interesting people (of both sexes), but also two complete fuckwits. I have deleted my account.
  6. Met a farrier from Sweden whom I call the Neighsayer. He is black and has a weird accent that’s a mix of English, Australian and others that I can’t identify – from learning English while travelling. A nice, unsleazy guy whom I can hang out with and not have to beat off with my umbrella.
  7. Don and I are still together and he is still the love of my life.

That’s all I can think of. Until next time …

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